And so the story goes...

I spent my senior year single. Well, I dated people on and off and had my "relationship" with John, but nothing serious. I learned a good deal about myself my senior year. I gained a lot of self confidence that year. I was proud of myself for ending a relationship that was unhealthy and moving forward. I was in good shape (although I still swore I wasa fat) I was wearing size 5 clothing. I was happy.

I remember one particular occassion that really boasted my ego. The biggest party of the year was on a Friday night. Everyone and anyone was going, it was a huge deal. About mid-day that Friday, I started feeling really bad. I mean, REALLY bad. Went to see the school nurse and had a fever. Of course, I have to get a fever and feel like hell on the day the biggest party of the year is taking place. Shit.

I was sent home and remeber getting in bed feeling like hell. Everything ached, I couldn't even lift my head up off the pillow and I was freezing. Friends were calling to see how I was feeling and if I would be going to the party. I was totally bummed, why me?

Around dinner time, my step mom gave me some tylenol for my fever and I started to feel a little better. One of my friends called and said she was going to the party, but wouldn't be staying long, she was really just going to drop another friend off. I said I would go along with her since I was feeling a little better and she wouldn't be staying all night. I was decked out in bright red sweatpants, a white sweatshirt turned inside out, my hair in a ponytail and my makeup a complete disaster. But out the door I went.

Once we arrived, everyone was there...I mean everyone! I said hello to some friends and then made my way over to a group of girls that were standing in the corner pointing at a guy I didn't know. I wanted in on the gossip! I found them talking about this guy, from another school, who everyone just thought was drop dead gorgeous. I said "well why doesn't someone go talk to him?" The general reply was "no way, you do it!" Finally, I said I would go over to this good looking stranger and inform him that my friends thought he was "hot" but were not outgoing enough to come tell him themselves.

I approached him, said hello and stated my case. He listened, politely, then glanced in the direction of my friends (who were some of the most popular girls in the school) and then looked back at me and said "well, what about you?" I said "what about me?" He said "Are you single? And do you think I am good looking?" I was baffled! I replied "Um, you have got to be kidding me! I am standing here with a 102 fever, dressed in sweat clothing, hair pulled back and you are questioning my relationship status when that whole group of girls over there, who are dressed appropriately, mind you, are totally into you!?" He looked right into my eyes and said " I am not interested in them, I am interested in you." We exchanged numbers, and I had to go back to my friends and break the bad news. The hot guy was "into" me!

He called me that night and we talked for hours and hours. He became one of my very best friends. Despite him being very attractive and kind, I just wan't into him romantically. I remember him tackling me one day and kissing me and it just felt like I was kissing my brother. He never gave up thought! We had some fun times together. I remember a few nights, well passed midnight, that he had pulled up out front of my home, called me on the phone and asked me to come out and go for a ride with him. I told him I was sleeping...go away! He followed that with "I swear if you aren't out here in 5 minutes, I am going to beep the horn until your Dad wakes up!" I was out the door before the 5 minutes was up each time!

Sadly, we lost touch over the years. But he is still in the area, and what once was his small, self opporated grass cutting business, is now a multi-million dollar corporation! He is all over the place and has obviously made a wonderful living. I sometimes wonder how things would have ended up if I was attracted to him romantically. Would I be sitting on a beach somewhere right not, sipping tropical drinks out of a coconut? Someday I will see him again, but for now...he is a memory I will never forget. A memory that did so much for my confidence and for that, I will always be grateful.